Hanna- part 6

The morning light woke me, along with the soft song of birds.  I hadn’t heard birds since my mother took me camping.  I didn’t want to open my eyes, afraid that the happy memory would fade.  Slowly my mind was beginning to reset itself.  I suppressed a groan and rolled over to face the sun, my eyes squinting open.

The first thing I noticed was the rich color of the walls, warm and inviting, and most of all unfamiliar.  There was an open window through which a warm breeze wafted through, stirring the curtains.  I glanced at a clock on the wall, which told me it was still early, not yet past seven.  My memory came back to me slowly.  I was in the country, not the city.  For a moment I thought of the mornings my mother would wake me early to help with the laundry so we could dance in the sunshine.  I smiled slightly and then remembered why I was here.  I had been sent to live here by my father, after having my hand been bought in marriage by a man I had never met; Avery Alexander.

Sitting up I realized I was alone.  Last night I had a hard time sleeping, nightmares overpowering my ability to think rationally.  I found myself at Avery’s door.  Despite all that I had expected with fear, Avery was not like most men who ‘buy’ a wife.  He proposed to me, saying he wanted to do things the way of a gentleman.  A soft smile played across my face again for a moment before fading.  I wondered how long Avery lay beside me before leaving.  Shaking my head, realizing how ungrateful and selfish I sounded I got up for the day.

It was strange not having to go to work before dawn, I wondered what I would do with myself, not having that job.  I supposed I would help with the house keeping.  I actually looked forward to helping with the gardening; I missed helping my mother in our small garden from before we moved.

My jaw literally dropped when I opened the wardrobe to find clothes for the day.  I had never owned so much, there were dress clothes, day clothes, tons of other things and a note that said that outdoors and work clothes were in the closet next to the mirror.  I had no idea what was expected of me, what I should wear, and most of all I was embarrassed by all of it.  I didn’t need so much, I felt ashamed of having so much while I knew others who had nothing.  Once I regained my thoughts, I found a simple black skirt and cream colored tunic style top, gathered my shower things and went to find the bathroom.

I hadn’t even taken two steps out the door when Tina appeared beside me, nodding and leading me to a room not far from my own.  I would forever be in wonder at the house it seemed, since this bathroom alone was larger than the main room and kitchen of father’s apartment.  Aware that Tina was silently waiting for me I made quick work of my morning routine, leaving my damp hair to fall around my shoulders as usual before opening the door.  I expected Tina to still be waiting, but instead Marie stood beside the door.

“Good morning.”  I smiled.

“You slept well, I hope?”  Marie asked as she took my things out of my hands and leading the way down to the dining hall.

“Not really…”  I said, when she stopped short I realized what she thought.  “I mean, I have nightmares…  It was just worse not knowing where I was when I woke up.”

“I see…”  She continued walking.  “Are you disappointed?”  She asked quietly.  It was my turn to stop.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable discussing this…”  I said, perhaps a little too stern.

“I understand, you’re right, it really isn’t my business, but since everyone around here is prone to gossip, I thought I’d ask you myself.”  She grinned and I forced myself to laugh a bit.  This was a strange conversation.

Breakfast was already waiting for me, I felt myself growing warm in the face.  I was used to fixing breakfast myself, nothing more extravagant that oatmeal or sometimes pancakes.  I was relieved when others sat down to breakfast with me.  I felt uncomfortable eating and being watched, it felt so rude.  Everyone was talking happily among themselves.  I noticed that Kane was missing, as was Avery.  I was surprised at my disappointment.

The breakfast ordeal was over quickly and everyone seemed to have something they had to attend to, leaving me alone again.  I contemplated exploring the house, but decided the weather was far too beautiful not to be outside in.  This time I checked the radio for the weather report, not wanting to be caught unaware in a storm again.  It said nothing of rain or storms so I left a note on the dinning table explaining I was going to look around outside again.

Once outside I found myself drawn to the secluded well.  I was shocked to see that the swing had been replaced already, now on a different tree nearby.  I spent a while staring into the cool depths of the well, listening to a sound I never thought I’d hear, never new existed.  The sound of an underground well, it is an echoing song, impossible to explain.  It lacks the strong peace of waves, the idle tinkling of a river, or any such sound.  How something that doesn’t move enough to cause a splash can make a sound was beyond me, but I found myself completely at rest just to be near it.

In my relaxed state I let my mind wander, something which I rarely had time or means to do in the city.  I wondered if my father was doing alright without me, I knew that Daisy was probably trying to create a quick dinner without success, and the kids were probably finishing their homework before they could play.  I thought of my friends from work, wondering who had replaced me, or if they had hired anyone new yet.  I mentally went through a day in my old life, just for the comfort of it.  Right now I would be on my way to my second shift.  Sighing I sat on the new tree swing.

What was I supposed to do?  My entire life I’d been working or in school, now I was living in a very well-off estate with servants who seem offended when I offered to help with chores.  I was truthfully bored.  My mind wandered again.

Avery hasn’t told me anything about himself.  I didn’t really know him any more than when I came here in fear of the unknown.  I shook my head.  That wasn’t true…  I’ve been a good judge of character, just like my mother was, and I trust Avery.  But I was unsure why, or why there was still a slight fear every time my mind wandered to this topic.

The crunch of leaves caught my attention and I looked up, halfway expecting Avery, hoping rather.  I was disappointed when Damien stepped out of the trees, scowling in my direction.

“Come on.”  He said.

“What?”  I asked.

“Marie sent me to find you, that’s all I know.  Just hurry up.”  Damien wasn’t as calm and patient as Kane was, but I could still sense that they were related.

I stood and walked to the path I had taken to get here, Damien sighed and followed me, probably put off that he had to take the long route instead of the short cut through the trees, but I wasn’t about to make a fool of myself in an unfamiliar place.

“You know, you shouldn’t be walking around by yourself.”  Damien said in an accusing voice after some time.  “You could get lost or someone could attack you.”

“I think I’m quite alright on my own in a fight.”  I laughed, remembering some of the gangs that I fought right after my mother died, I had been reckless and lost, and I had learned enough of life to know when to fight by now.

“But if you get lost,” He said again.  “Next time, don’t leave the house.”

“If I get lost, I get lost; I don’t think it’s your place to tell me to stay in the house.”  I rounded on him, my anger flaring out of nowhere.  I wasn’t one to show my anger, and this display surprised even myself.

“I just don’t want to have to keep chasing off after some ignorant girl who doesn’t think, even if you are Mr. Alexandria’s woman, I’m not a bodyguard and certainly not a baby sitter.”

“That’s it!”  I shrieked, loosing my control.  Before I could stop myself my fist made contact with Damien’s face, sending him sprawling in the garden.   “I don’t need either,” I stated simply, turning to walk the now short distance up to the house.  “Thanks for the message.”

I saw movement in a window, seeing Tina watch me.  She seemed to be laughing, probably having seen my ‘over-reaction’.  Marie met me at the door, something between a worried and humorous expression playing over her face.

“Damien’s always had a rouge attitude; Kane’s always bringing him down to Earth, seems like he was due for a reality check.”  She laughed.  “I would have sent someone else if I could have found them, but everyone’s busy…  He should be calling soon, your father called while you were out; he said he’d call back.”

“Father?”  I grew worried.  Phone calls out of the coastal city were not something that was done often, it was expensive and mostly only used in emergencies.  Had something happened?  I wondered if the kids were okay.  I could feel myself shaking slightly and tried to calm myself.

“This way,” Marie guided me to a small office on the second floor.  I found myself grateful for the chair, but too nervous to sit.  Marie seemed oblivious to my nervousness.  I heard footsteps enter from the hall, but didn’t look up, continuing a nervous rocking that I had picked up from Daisy.  I quickly forced myself to stand still, ridiculing myself for immediately jumping to the worst, and for being like Daisy.  I thought of what Karen would have done, I was shocked to realize that I’d forgotten how she dealt with such things.  Instead of treading that path of thought, I calmed my mind as best I could, focusing on my breathing, finding a small song in my head that seemed to help me relax.

When the phone rang I jumped, having both forgotten and expecting it.  I was surprised when not Marie, but Avery reached past me for the phone.  I hadn’t realized it was he who entered the room.  I turned to look at him and he smiled before answering.

“Hello?”  He sounded so calm, where I knew had I answered the phone I would have been squeaking with worry.  “Yes, one moment.”  He handed me the phone and motioned for me to sit.  I stared blankly for a moment before settling on a small couch.

“Hello?”  My voice sounded weak to me.

“Hanna, how are you?”  Father’s voice was changed slightly by the electronics of the phone, but I knew it was him.  I relaxed.

“I’m fine, but, why are you calling?  Is something wrong?”

“No, no, my boss felt guilty for ordering me to work and not seeing you off, he’s paying for this call.  Should I not have?”

“No, I mean, it’s good to hear from you.”

“Is your husband treating you fairly?”  Daisy’s voice echoed over the line, I blushed knowing that Avery heard her, having sat beside me on the couch.  “Has he tried anything on you yet?”  From the sound of things, Daisy had stolen the phone from father.  “I know we never got along, but if you want to talk to me about those matters, I make a good pen pal!  He hasn’t hurt you?!  Is he good looking?  Is he good-“

“Daisy!”  Father’s voice came on the line again.  “Sorry, despite what you might have thought, she’s been worried about you as well.”

“It’s fine.” I said, my face burning, knowing that Avery had heard Daisy.

“Is Mr. Alexandria there?  I’d like a word with him as well before I have to let you go.”  I glanced to my side, Avery was smiling, watching me closely.  I held the phone out to him.

There were muffled words from the phone, but I could make out the intent.  My father was being protective.  He was threatening Avery!

“I understand, and assure you I have no intention of- Yes, I will…”  He handed the phone back and got up to leave.  I waited until he shut the door before speaking.

“DAD!!  What did you tell him!”

“Just a small threat and a white lie.”  He was laughing.  “I said that you learned all your fighting skills from me, and that if he harmed you, in any way whatsoever, I would be the one to act as judge, jury, and prosecutor.”

“I can’t believe you!”  I was flabbergasted.

“I just wanted to make sure you are safe, he is being polite, I hope?”

“Yes, he’s quite nice, and very kind, and you can tell Daisy that he is rather attractive.”

“Do you like him?”  Father asked.

“Yes, I do…”

“But?”

“I promise I’ll write you,”  I changed the subject, knowing that even if father’s boss was feeling generous, there was a limit to his kindness, and also I didn’t know what to tell my father.  “Please say hi to the kids.”

“Okay, but please do not hesitate, I trust your judgment more than my own, and I feel terrible about sending you away…”

“Father, I actually like it here.”

“Do you regret having to go?”

I didn’t answer.

“Goodbye, Hanna, please take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, bye… Thank you.”  There were several unspoken words between the moments of our farewell and the moment the line went silent.  I sat looking at the cordless phone in my hand, surprised when tears fell onto the keys.  The door clicked open and Avery entered again.

“Forgive me; I had not thought to give you privacy…”

“No,” I said, wiping my eyes quickly.  “It’s alright, he wanted to speak with you also, though-“  I stood to face Avery properly.  “I apologize for anything my father may have said, he’s-“

“He’s just being protective.”  Avery said, cutting off my excuses.  “I imagine I’d do the same thing in his place, though I must admit the woman was rather forward with her questions.”

“That’s Daisy, she’s been that way since my mother met her.”  I laughed slightly.

“Actually, I was worried when I saw you.”  He said quietly, reaching out for me.  “I don’t know you well enough, though it seems…”  His voice was soft.  “You were white as a sheet and fidgeting, and on top of that I had heard you fought Damien.  I worried he had hurt you…”  Avery ran his fingers through my hair, something that was becoming a habit to him it seemed.  I couldn’t suppress the tingling feeling where he had touched me.

“It was nothing, I’m actually embarrassed I let myself loose control of my frustration like that…”

“Frustration?”  Avery asked as he sat on the couch again, pulling me down beside him.

“It’s difficult to explain.”

“I have time to listen.”  He said.

“I am grateful that he came to find me, but it was the way he went about it, Damien has a way about him that comes off wrong…”

“Did he try anything inappropriate?” Avery’s voice grew stern and there was a glint in his eye that slightly frightened me.

“No, nothing like that, he just said the right, or rather wrong, thing to take me over the edge… I decked him.”  I added the last bit without thinking, it was like I was talking to Daisy about my most recent bit of trouble, blunt with little detail unless asked further.

“He shouldn’t have been the one to go after you,” Avery’s voice was still stern.  “There are others who work here, I would have preferred anyone over him going after you.”

“I’m sure they were busy, and it all worked out, I think…”  I was trying to calm Avery, who seemed tense and dangerously close to going after someone.

“Worked out?”  Avery’s eyes flashed strangly.

“I mean, well, at least Damien knows not to mess with me, and has probably gained respect of me by now.”

“He should have shown respect to begin with!”  Avery snarled.  He got to his feet and started for the door.  I instantly feared he was going to confront Damien, and probably anyone else for not being around, as well as Marie for sending Damien in the first place.  Somehow I knew it wouldn’t be very good.

I reached out and caught his hand, curled tightly into a fist.  He threw me off easily and continued out the room.  I went after him, remembering the staff’s warning about Avery’s mood.  I couldn’t believe such a small thing got him so riled up.

I heard a squeak of surprise as Avery rounded a corner.  I dashed after him, finding Marie backed into a corner, calmly facing the fuming man before her.

“Avery!”  I called, trying to get his attention over his now angry words.   He didn’t hear me, unfortunately others did, which did catch his attention.  Tina and a very tired looking Ben now cornered along side Marie in an onslaught of accusations.  I tried again to get him to listen, without result.

Footsteps on the stairs drew silence from Avery at last.  I breathed a sigh of relief as the others slipped out of the hall, but too early.  It was Damien, holding an ice pack to his face, that had come up to see what was going in.  Avery turned on him, in a movement I knew instantly to be that of an attack.

“Avery!”  I said again, running to his side.  I didn’t want to see anyone hurt because I made the stupid mistake of loosing my temper.  I grabbed his arm before he threw a single punch.  He tried to shake me off, catching me with his elbow, but I slipped my other arm around him in an attempt to both not be thrown off and calm him.  “Avery, please calm your self.”  I said softly.  Avery stopped struggling to break free, relaxing slowly.  I relaxed my grip on his arm, shifting to wrap my arms around him in a soft embrace, my head against his back I repeated myself a few times.  “Calm your self, Avery.”

When he finally relaxed to the point I thought I could let go, I stepped back, looking at my feet, slightly afraid to meet his eyes as he turned.  Avery had a look of shock on his face, horror in his eyes.  He reached for me with one slightly shaking hand, brushing my face.  I was surprised that the touch stung a bit.

“Hanna, dearest Hanna…”  He stepped closer and captured me in an embrace that took me off guard.  “Let’s get you cleaned up.”  He whispered, his hand stroking my hair softly.

I didn’t notice that he had actually hit me hard enough to cause damage, let alone break the skin.  I was sitting in a chair in my room.  One glance in the mirror was a shock, blood trailing from above my left eye down my face.  Avery had nearly carried me to my room, not once looking me in the eyes.  He was now digging through a first aid kit for bandages.  I tried to get up and take care of the small wound myself, but he was instantly at my side, urging that I sit.

“It’s bleeding so much, I should call the doctor.”  He said to himself.

“It’s a head wound, they bleed a lot anyway.  I’m fine, please don’t worry about it.”  I said as he cleaned the wound, something I could have done much faster, but I imagined that he was trying to avoid hurting me.

“It must hurt, I’m sure we can find something for you and then you should lie down.”  He fussed with a bandage.

“I’ve had much worse; you must not have read my entire medical report, I’ve had more injuries than a masochist.”  I joked.  He looked up horrified at my humor.  “I got in to lots of fights after mother died; it was a kind of release I think…”  I didn’t want to tell him that I was reckless and angry that I could not follow my mother at the time, that I didn’t care what happened to me, or that I felt that I deserved whatever pain I got for not being able to share my mother’s pain.

“What happened?”  He asked suddenly.

“It was the third plague-“ I said, assuming he meant my mother’s death.

“No, I mean-“  He lightly brushed the bandage on my forehead.

I realized he didn’t remember what he had done, when he lost control.  “It was an accident.”  I said, smiling.

“Someone hit you.”  He said, eyes growing serious.

I knew where this would go; I decided the truth was for the best.  “Yes, but I told you, it was an accident.”

“I did this, didn’t I?”  He turned away from me.

I placed my hand on his back.  “Yes, but I know you didn’t mean to, you were being over-protective.”  He looked back at me, eyes glistening with tears.   I didn’t know what to think.  One moment Avery was the calm hansom man that one would expect in a novel, the next he’s out of control, and moments later he was filled with remorse and remembers nothing.

“I’m sorry, Hanna, I’ve hurt you…”  He hung his head.  “It is unforgivable, some ‘gentleman’ I am, huh.”

I realized what he was doing.  I had done something similar many times in my life, taking blame for something past.  I smiled slightly.  During those times, all I wanted was to feel the pain, and for someone to tell me it was alright.  Father had been there for me, even if there was little he could do but tell me the same words I’ve heard so many times in my life.

I leaned against Avery, feeling him tense for just a moment before I wrapped my arms around him again.  “It’s alright.”  I whispered.  “I forgive you.”  We sat like this for several silent, comforting moments.  During this silence I came to realize that there’s more to this young man that has become my husband, that there is much more buried deep within him.  We were alike somehow.  I wondered what had caused such pain to cause him to be like this.

“Thank you.”  Avery whispered, reaching up to touch my face lightly.  “Thank you for staying with me…”