Are you out there, somewhere, waiting like me?

It is perhaps the most depressing thing I have come to realize about life.  One can come to terms with Death with time, but it is another great sorrow that presses the heart of more than one.

I have an old fashion way of looking at things, some could say I'm an eteranl romantic.  But in today's society, pressured and infulenced by the media and the false people they portray, I would be considered something far less desirable.

Yes, today's society has fallen, ruled by superficical and unrealistic ideas.  Where once it was romantic to "save yourself" for your "true love", you are now seen as a prude.  Well, excuse me for not giving myself to the first loin-driven man that comes my way.  And that aside I choose not to partake in the consumption of alcohol, personally I do not like the taste and do not see the "thrill" of getting drunk.  I keep my senses.

I dress in a modest manner, finding clothes with any decency hard to come by as the slutty style invades all stores.  I do not see the point of wearing skin tight jeans, skirts that are no more than a headband, shirts that reveal everything I lack, and anything that's honestly in bad taste just because some "designer" or "star" wore something similar!  I have my curves, but I don't flaunt them endlessly!  My make-up is nothing more than a light powder, sick of seeing every face look excactly the same, like resien molds plastered with a uniform coat of copper-tone and gloss.  I do not line up at salons to broil in a booth, creating the obvious fake tan that make more than a few people look absolutely disgusting.  My skin I prefer to keep it the pale ivory that I was blessed with.  Hair, to contradict myself, I dye- my one vanity, though with time I shall let it fade back to the silvery it's become.  I do not press myself to diet, purge, or binge

I am less than common in appearance, short and slightly overweight.  I do not take part in the "bar scene" that seems to signify the only place to be, I spend my time at the library, near the lake, or just going for a drive.  I don't dance, or rather can't, and singing is taboo with a voice like mine.  There is nothing significant about me, my life, and definately not my appearance, except that I am a plain short woman.

This being said it comes to the point that is most depressing of all...  The men in this society, with the exception of a few, seem to have decided that the only woman worth seeing is the hollywood clones... Those tall, too skinny, perfect hair-makeup-skin-everything women that speak in the same whiney ass, nasally voice thinking that they're cute and everything that isn't exactly like them is below them, and those that have something they don't are their competition.  Men choose to see these superfical creatures as their ideal partner, completely foregoing those who are not.

I am sick of being turned down for a skinny bitch, being over-look because I am not a magazine-clone, treated like a child because I am short, sneered at because I am not too thin to sustain life, ignored because I am not what the media tells me is sexy!

To my romantic nature, I would like to think that there is a man out there that is my soul mate, my true love, waiting and searching, just like me.  But the fear in my heart is that he has already convinced himself that someone like me could not possibly be worth his time...

My fears are not unjustified- and I think I am right to believe that I am not alone with these fears...


Are you out there waiting, searching for me, like I do you?
Or have you already found something you're convinced is better...?